thanks mom.....

So I WAS looking forward to opening my degree once it arrived in the mail, but my mom decided that she wanted to so she could frame it and surprise me.

Wrong.

I was really looking forward to it. More than I was when I got my big acceptance package from Bethel. Way more.

I earned that degree, I worked hard, and represents a lot of what I have gone through the last four years.

And now I feel really jipped.

The only thing worse would be having her know I'm pregnant before I even do, and then surprising me. (When/if that day come) (This did happen to a cousin of mine)

Confessions

I was a cheerleader in high school.

It was not a big thing and not impressive.

The cheerleaders were not the popular girls, like the stereotype goes. We were mostly ignored, especially when I started. The dancers were the popular girls. There were more bleach, bottle blonds, with the fake tans and clownish make-up on the dance team than the cheer team. We only started to become more popular when we had one of the teachers be our coach instead of some person not as closely affiliated to the school.

You know the song, "she is a cheerleader, I'm in the marching band", well, most of the girls on the squad were both, and were fairly proud of it. It was hard for a lot of them to choose between the two.

None of our peers payed any attention to us during the games. The football games were more about socializing than anything, which is weird. Given that context, how is it that the football players who didn't talk to people and socialize were able to be popular and the cheerleaders were not?

But I will admit, it is impressive to say. Craig's friends have mentioned, jokingly, how his first gf was a cheer captain, while he spend most of his HS years playing video games. Little did they know that I spend most of my afternoon on the days I didn't have PSEO practicing my Super Smash Bros moves in the back of my friend's van. Not what many imagine for a cheerleader.


I don't know why I felt like posting this. Maybe it's just the sociologist coming out in me and looking at my own life because it's one thing I can easily observe. *shrug*


Vegas has really screwed up my sleep schedule.

I cannot wait to be home

So we are on our way back to MN. I am ready to be home. Maybe I can take a vacation from this vacation...

Things I am looking forward to:

• I cannot wait to see Craig. This is the longest we've gone without seeing each other, and it's going to be interesting. Part of me thinks it's going to be weird because I'm sure both of us has changed physically (I'm sure Craig has a bigger beard or goatee and I left him fairly clean shaven, and the last time I he saw me, I was a brunette), but at the same time, I know it won't be a big deal, and I'm getting giddy for our reunion.
• I'm going to be able to sleep alone, in my own bed, not having to share it with a child or my mother.
  
• I don't have to help take care of 3 boys and can do stuff that I want to do.
• Not living out of a suitcase.
• Not being crammed in a car, driving for hours on end.
  
• Seeing friends and giving them their souvenirs.
• Going to see movies that have come out and I haven't seen yet or will come out and will see within the next couple of weeks.
• Having accessible wireless on a daily basis.
  

Things I'm not looking forward to:

• Finding a job. (Even though secretly I want *something* to do, but don't tell anyone)
  
• Having to learn to live my life being a "responsible" adult.
• Having to pay for everything myself.
• Not being able to splurge on things I don't really need and think it's ok.
• The fact that I'm still not on insurance so I can't drive anywhere yet.
  

My mom's state conference is in Duluth, so Shelly (my cousin) keeps asking if I'm going to that as well or with her to her brother's house in northern MN. I think I might just stay home and work on things that need to get done.

Things I really need to do but probably won't be all that motivated to get done right away until the last minute or my parents have "a talk" with me, whichever comes first:

• Find some something where I can volunteer and use my new degree.
• Apply to lots of jobs.
• Look into more college classes (My dad is way too ambitious for me for my own good).
• Find a good church with Craig that we can attend.
• Find a Spanish speaking church that I can attend and maybe even volunteer at.
  

Things I really want to do but probably won't for awhile, if ever:

• Go to Craig's cabin.
• Visit Sarah.
• Plan a trip to South Dakota.

*sigh*
My homecoming can't come soon enough.

Complexities of life

So three things are standing out to me today concerning life.

1. The death of my 3rd grade teacher, who I was helping in her class not two weeks ago, whose wake is today.

2. A relative's graduation party today.

3. A friend's break-up.

All three are both happy and sad. A full, meaningful life that was cut short. A great accomplishment that leads to uncertainty about success in the future. An important relationship where both had fun times but times that won't return.

Short of actually dying, I have experienced all of them, and it's interesting to be an outside observer and not be directly involved.

It's one of those things that I can't really express in words. But I can definitely feel them and it makes me take a moment and go "huh", sitting there in my mind, looking at those situations and remembering my own.

So... yeah. Mixed emotions.

I kinda wanna slap both my roomies

They are both being so passive aggressive. At least it would be something else.



For example one roommate posted on facebook:

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. Proverbs 18:24 Be not afraid, only believe. Mark 5:36

Fair enough, but still passive aggressive.

The other posted this just minutes ago:

SOMEONE JUST LUV TO GET ON MY SKIN.... I DON'T WANNA LOOSE MY TEMPER ON ANYONE BUT IF MY LAST NERVE IS CROSSED ....................... WELL, JUST HOPE IT IS NOT CROSSED

Now, this is after she wanted the remote from my other roomie, who was already watching TV and wanted to watch the next program that was on. Don't think they'll be friendly after this.

*sigh* Just a week and a half. Can't wait for check out time.... *rolls eyes*

In other, related news:

Some are favorite movies, others are just favorite quotes

A. Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
B. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
C. Post them here for everyone to guess.
D. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
E. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions.


1. "We always knew you were a whoopsie." Sarah; Stardust

2. "Men should be explorers, no matter how old they are. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm going. "

3. "Please do not use that word. Were I not entirely aware of my duty to my family and to my country, I would not have come back tonight... or indeed ever again!"

4. "Don't worry, I'm not who I used to be. I've had extensive therapy. I realize I have been using food as a substitute for love and I have the books to prove it: "Breaking the Cycle", "Heal Yourself in 7 Days", "Stop Blaming Yourself, Please", and "Help for the Bedwetting Child", which I picked up by mistake. But I've got them all!"

5. "You're wondering, 'What is a place like me doing in a girl like this?'"
"Yeah, something like that." Nate; The Mummy

6. "Besides, after the concert, we were going to shut down your operation anyways. We've found that subliminal messages work much better in movies" Nate; Josie and the Pussycats

7. "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't" Sarah; Legally Blonde

8. "In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?"
"I said, 'Hey, you, on the other side - let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you'll be sorry!'"

9. "My mother told me to be wary of Fauns"

10. "If his brain's ran down, how can he talk?"
"It happens to people all the time, Jack"

11. "They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything. And all of that and you're you. It's just that you are drop dead crazy gorgeous. So much so, that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here."

12. "Computer, define 'dancing'" Sarah; Wall-E

13. "'Apple?'... 'No, thank you'... 'It's good.'... 'Oh, okay.'
[crunches on the ice and imitates death and then strikes a "tada" pose]
"You feel you'd die without me here."

14. "This is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm sorry, but I'm overruling you."
"You are being a cheer-tator Torrence and a pain in my ass!" Nate; Bring It On

15. "If ever I see that Van Dort boy, I'll strangle him with my bare hands!"
"Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin. You'll have to use a rope."

16. "It won't affect me, I'm already a woman."

17. "Ohhhhh, at least out loud I won't say I'm in love." Sarah; Disney's Hercules

18. "I can't lose you again!... I can't. Not again. I'm not s-strong enough."
"If we work together, you won't have to be."
(from the same movie, but also in lots of others "Wait a second...") Nate; The Incredibles

19. "A few tears, that's all" (book made into a movie)

20. "Better out than in I always say" (Sarah, I don't know if it's in HP&tCoS or not; I quoted it from something else)

Ahhhhh! So weird!!!!

This is really freaky to me...

This is Karl, Craig's brother:



This is Charlie Cox, the guy who play Tristan:


Please tell me someone else sees the resemblance.

Things seem to be in perspective, just a little bit more.

More to come later

it's 2:13 in the morning

i have 13 rough pages written.
i only need about 10 more.
i don't care if half of it is in english
or that i don't have an intro or conclusion.

i'm just going to keep popping in movies
working slowly but steadily

as long as i have all the information that i need
its going to be good enough for me

I just pray to God that everything is going to work out
because it would be...
is...
hell... until I pass this class.

for now i have scottie and selena
and that's helping

You can cut the tension with a knife

Apparently on Thursday when Ronke got back, she yelled at Alyssa because her stuff was moved from the couch (I had a St. Patty's day party and had lots of people over and needed the couch she uses as her desk) and moved the green couch closer to the Bethel couches. And according to Alyssa, this wasn't her normal yelling, this was a full out attack.

I believe it because Ronke also isn't speaking to me, and she didn't yell at me.

*sigh*
It is annoying having 2 very passive aggressive roommates, and I'm starting to follow suite.

I'm glad I spent the last 3 days at Craig's so I can work on my paper, even if I didn't exactly get all that much done of the actual paper writting.

Stardust makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside....

"If there's one thing I've learned about all my years watching Earth, is that people aren't what they may seem. There are shop boys, and there are boys who just happen to work in a shop for the time being. And trust me Tristan, you're no shop boy."

I'm stealing this from Sarah

I could use a hug, a kiss on the forehead and a someone to look me in the eye while saying "You can do this"

And for more sources in Spanish so I can get this goddamn paper done.


I have the worst timing and time management skills in the world.

*blows raspberries*

Things that annoy me right now

• People who hit or tap on the seat on the opposite side of the booth where I am sitting in market and then feeling it.
• My Ibero-american history prof and his lack of attention which results in people having to remind him that we don't have a homework calendar for the next couple of weeks, and him scheduling homework and an exam durring spring break. (I kinda get the vibe that he doesn't want to teach at Bethel anymore)

These thing aren't that big of a deal, just frusturating.

That's what sociology and anthropology is about!

It is really odd over-hearing someone say they dislike a prof you have grown to admire.

I was riding the shuttle today and I overheard a guy talking about a professor which I very much like. Let's call him Professor Smith. He explained how he took a religion and society kind of class with Smith, and they were talking about protestants. Smith then talked in class about how if he were to ask a classroom full of protestants (or at least I think it was protestants, it could have been evangelicals... they guy had mentioned both) how many of them had physically felt God act in their lives that they would only get 0-1 people say they had, whereas if you asked a roomful of evangelicals the same thing, almost everyone would say they had. This guy didn't like 2 things about things like this and other things he had come across in class and in reading: over generalized and the wrong stats.

Okay, so I'm not sure about stats, they could be made up and invalid, although I highly, highly doubt it. But the overgeneralized... this guy might think they might be overgeneralized, but it could be that they were just generalizations, which is what anthropology and sociology is about. Groups of people are usually described the same way. There will be exceptions within those groups, but exceptions do not make the rule.

I'm finding out more and more that people are following that idea.

"42?!?!"

I do enjoy The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Craig and I just finished reading the first book. It's better than the movie.

But the real reason for this post is that my request to have Ibero-American History take place of Contemporary Lit was passed! This means I don't have to spend extra money to take a similar course online or something, and still be able to graduate on time!

All that I have to do now is pass all my classes, and finish my 25 page paper for Spanish Senior Sem....

I really should work on that more....

How about now?

Still stressed, but happier.

I have such a wonderful boyfriend. This last weekend we celebrated our first anniversary. He wouldn't tell me exactly what we were doing, but it was still fun. He first took me to Hoolihans and we had dinner, without talking about what he had planned after that. Then afterward, when we were in his car, he blindfolded me and drove around for about half an hour. We ended up at the Mall of America, in front of Build-a-Bear. It was a good weekend.

And that's why I'm happy.

I'm stressed because we started school yesterday. I have 4 classes, 2 of which are night classes. I'm just not ready for school to start again.

That 25 page paper that I have to do.... I've only finished half a page.... and it's kinda due next Friday.... this Friday preferably... but I highly doubt that will happen.

I am still short a class in order to graduate. And the thing is, the class I needed is only offered in the fall every other year. It was offered last fall, but my melt-down made me cut some classes from my schedule and the prof for that class said she'd be more than willing to do a course by arrangement with me this spring. So I was planning on that, but then the dean rejected my petition, because it was under a "choose from" category which is ridiculous because pretty much everything under a Spanish major is in a "choose from" option. So now I have to try to petition to have that class waved and take another one in it's place. *sigh*

But even still, it's not too bad.... at least so far. My position might change once I try to work on homework.

So how are you Amanda?

Do you really wanna know?

I'm stressed!

(please excuse this next post, it's going to be mostly a rant)

My grandpa died day after Christmas. He was my last grandparent.

My sister came up for the funeral, brought her daughter Chyenne. Although she (Chyenne) is adorable, I'm don't know how to handle the news that my sister is going to try to move back up here. It will mean more time with my darling, dear niece, but then I also have to see my sister. I'm not sure if I'll be compleatly thrilled about it, after all, she did run away with a guy, leaving her two sons behind, and us not hearing from her for two years. But hey....

I have to finish a 25 page Spanish Senior Seminar Paper over the next month. Did I mention that it has to be in Spanish, because it does.

I'm going to have to go into the Buisness office tomorrow, because I was charged with for an intrim class, which I am NOT taking.

My roommate texted me earlier saying we need to rearange the room because she can't get internet for her online class. I'm going to suggest that she talk to ITS before we move stuff around.

My boyfriend and I are doing this less/little-physical-contact thing because we have been using more non-verbal than verbal communication, which is kinda a double blade sword because on the one hand we are finding new ways to show eachother that we love one another, but at the same time, his hugs and kisses and cuddles are really relaxing and are just.... wonderful.... and I'm not getting any of them, or at least not until next month (on our aniversary, to be precise).
.... I'm afraid of a bad outcome, and that we'd be "better off as friends".... I don't know how well I could handle that if I didn't feel the same way. I really hope it doesn't turn out that way.

So this increase in stress causers and decrease in destressers will make for an.... interesting next couple of weeks. Some of the stuff I'm just going to have to get through and it will be done in a month or so, others.... it'll take a while to adjust.

Not to mention that I'm currently house sitting for my cousin, and I think that the other person that housesits accidentally left the frezer partially open or something and perhaps the meat and such that is in there dethawed a little because it smells a little like something died in there, or threw up. But that will be solved by Saturday, when she gets back.


Hopefully a happier post will come soon. *crosses fingers*